The Eldest Daughter

Eldest daughter coded. Rules reimagined.

Howdy!

I’m Kathy, eldest daughter and second-gen Asian American, on a journey of rewriting the rules and forging my own path. Here, I share recipes, travels, and stories from my everyday life. I also use this space to capture the entertaining exchanges I share with my mom. As the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter, I deeply appreciate the special bond we share. Our relationship has grown and evolved over time, shaped by the imperfect, quirky ways we’ve learned to bridge generations and cultures — while navigating the occasional language barrier here and there.

I hope what I share here brings a little hope or joy to your day. Life can feel overwhelming, but I’m inspired by the small mysteries that connect us to one another. Whether you’re here for a minute or along for the ride, I’m so grateful you’re here!

Latest Posts

  • IVF: A Hundred Small Waiting Rooms

    IVF: A Hundred Small Waiting Rooms

    This post is for the people trying to show up for someone going through IVF, and to offer an additional perspective on what they may be going through. IVF isn’t one hard thing. It’s a long sequence of small waiting rooms, physical and emotional, stacked one after another.

  • From Boudoir to the Bump

    From Boudoir to the Bump

    Same body, almost exactly three years apart. Except this time, it’s not just holding a pose — it’s carrying a whole life.

  • The Best Gooey Cinnamon Rolls

    The Best Gooey Cinnamon Rolls

    Warm, gooey cinnamon rolls that are rich and moist from top to bottom! Every deliciously sticky bite is finger-licking good.

  • Pork and Cabbage Dumplings

    Pork and Cabbage Dumplings

    Traditional pork and cabbage dumplings; meat can be swapped out for ground chicken or chopped shrimp. Homemade dumpling wrappers give you the best results!

  • Pregnancy: Feeling Joy After Loss

    Pregnancy: Feeling Joy After Loss

    While the news brings me so much joy as I enter my second trimester, I want to acknowledge the fact that pregnancy is not an effortless sequence of happy milestones for everyone. Experiencing pregnancy loss and the recovery that follows is a uniquely personal journey for each woman and each couple.

  • Zha Jiang Mian

    Zha Jiang Mian

    Pork belly cooked in savory bean sauce bursting with umami flavors, served over noodles and topped with crisp, fresh julienned cucumbers.

Stay Connected

More about me

Born on the East Coast and raised by two Chinese immigrants, my brother and I learned and experienced America at the same time as my parents, who both left their families behind in China and came to the US in their mid-30’s. Our house was a revolving presence of our visiting grandparents, and the aunties and uncles we inherited from the small but strong Chinese community in Pennsylvania. My early childhood was stitched together by Chinese tradition and scrappy immigrant spirit. In our house, education wasn’t just important – it was everything. There was an almost comically intense, oppressively heavy focus on academics, all in the hopes that one day we’d earn an Ivy League education and reach one of the holy trinity of honorable careers: doctor, lawyer, or engineer.

Fast forward to my early adulthood: after falling short of the Ivy League dream (RIP application fees), I graduated from NYU’s Stern School of Business with a degree in Finance and Marketing. Much to my dad’s disappointment, I had no stomach for the toxic work culture in the finance world and abandoned that career path before it ever really began. Instead, my twenties and thirties became a winding, soul-searching journey through restaurant management, door-to-door sales, sales leadership at a major tech startup, and eventually real estate. Along the way, I moved cross-country 6 times with quite a few extra interstate moves for good measure, fell in love and then fell devastatingly out of it, survived Covid, and stumbled into a second chance at love in a place (and a friend) I never saw coming. In 2023, I tied the knot with the person who turned out to be the perfect plot twist to a storyline that never sticks to the script.

These days, I’m letting myself slow down. I’ve stopped chasing titles and promotions, and work no longer defines my self worth. I’m finding comfort in my kitchen and refining my sixth love language: food. As we try and grow our family, we’ve faced the painful setbacks and heartache of miscarriage and unexplained infertility. This chapter is still being written, and I’m trusting that whatever comes next will arrive in its own perfect timing.

Kathy